tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-44097302737131185692024-02-02T17:31:12.978-06:00Simon Says...Brayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12625216967589031792noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4409730273713118569.post-87290929785143241742019-06-28T19:57:00.000-05:002019-06-28T19:57:01.907-05:00My Story. Not yours.Grief. This complicated word has a two word definition, "deep sorrow". What does that mean exactly? For each person, grief is different. Just like no two snowflakes are alike, no two individuals grieve the same. One person may shy away from the universe and sulk in silence and demand no other presences while another person may throw themselves into their daily life while maintaining a busy lifestyle to hide the pain. Either way, grief absolutely sucks. It's a never ending process. You grow in your grief and you learn to live with the pain and eventually it becomes numb but it comes back, always.<br />
<br />
I'd like to think this post is for those who have judged the bereaved. Who have walked away from those who are suffering because you just couldn't handle the roller coaster of emotions. The waves of the storm. The change in the person you once cared for. But one day, and don't kid yourself, you will be on this side of grief. Watching people who once were there for you, disappear; talk about your story, when it isn't theirs to talk about. Suffer the darkest days of your life, alone, even though there are so many people around you that you could suffocate. You'll watch the universe continually spin and everyone you know go on about their lives while you struggle to figure out what day, month, year you're in. The world won't stop for you either. You can't even begin to prepare yourself for this.<br />
<br />
Each grief victim has a story. A story that has changed their entire being. A tragedy that takes your soul into its fists and crushes every strand and then somehow we manage to put the pieces back together, and much differently than before. So when you ask 'what happened' to others besides that person, or talk about their tragedy by adding your opinions, you aren't helping the situation. Those conversations usually get back to the bereaved. Your words hurt but not nearly as bad as the tragedy. Our lives are bigger than your hearsay. Our hearts have more to deal with than your 'well I heard'. In the grand scheme, it doesn't matter what happened, and it doesn't matter what you'll hear. We are broken, isn't that enough? You preach on kindness, and making the world a better place, yet when someone right in front of you is hurting beyond words, you talk. You say things that aren't true and you make guesses that are far fetched from the truth.<br />
<br />
My baby died. It's as simple as that. She died. It doesn't matter where, it doesn't matter how, she freaking died. I didn't do anything to deserve losing her, neither did my husband or her brother. This wasn't karma, and yes, I've had someone tell me that. This wasn't a test of my faith - because if truth be told, I would have failed. She died. So before you start talking about the next victim of grief, remind yourself that they are hurting. Dying on the inside. Contemplating how to take their life so the pain will stop. Thinking every tree they drive by looks like the right one to smash their car into. And stop thinking and creating stories by reading this. I'm okay, today, but I am human and I was in "deep sorrow". <br />
<br />
People you know are in "deep sorrow". Weather that storm with them. Let them know the world is continuously spinning but you're in the area of stopped time with them. Ride the roller coaster of the five stages of their grief in no order: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Allow them to stay out of work for days, weeks, months, or allow them to get back to work quickly without judgement. Allow them to tell their story. It's their story, not yours.Brayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12625216967589031792noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4409730273713118569.post-45350801277668541332016-12-09T12:31:00.002-06:002016-12-09T12:31:22.169-06:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Brayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12625216967589031792noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4409730273713118569.post-87128784353255486832016-07-15T10:57:00.001-05:002016-07-15T10:57:09.098-05:00What's Left of MeThe other day I was using spotify to chose music for me as I ran based on the steps I jogged per minute. If you're a slow jogger, slow songs will play, I'm talking sappy slow songs. I was kind of at that point where I was wearily wondering what in the world was going to come on next and to my disbelief, it was Nick Lachey, What's left of me. If you know me, you know 1) I absolutely despise country music and 2) not a huge pop fan. I prefer alternative rock depending on the mood I'm in, some days heavier than others. However, most of the time I just listen to whatever Si wants to listen to...so do I even have a favorite station at the moment? Anyway, I'm running, okay, jogging. I find myself listening to the words of this song and realize tears are falling from my eyes. I'm sure it's normal to not realize whats occurring in your own skin, but that's kind of a portrait of how this past year for me has been. Partial memories of events that have taken place but it's all left behind in this fog that I can't seem to fight my way through. That fog is called grief, if you've never experienced it, that's some heavy <strike>shi</strike> fog. I think back on this past year and it takes me a minute to think back on what all has happened:<br />
1) My girl left me for a greater place<br />
2) Panama City (My daddy got us out of town for a while, best thing he could've ever done for me)<br />
3) My stepson moved in with us<br />
4) I went back to work<br />
5) Si started pre-K<br />
6) Hell sank in<br />
7) Boston, MA<br />
8) Orlando<br />
9) Pigeon Forge/Gatlinburg<br />
<br />
10) Holidays (HELL)<br />
11) Orlando (again)<br />
12) Finished out the school year<br />
13) Swim Lessons<br />
14) Jekyll/St Simons<br />
15) July 15 - back to HELL again<br />
<br />
We are about to start another school year and I literally cannot even tell you a thing about this past school year. The hardest thing is, I did all those things above with Si, yet I don't remember much. His entire fourth year is a major blur. That makes me angry because he didn't ask for this life. He doesn't deserve this life, this life of uncertainty and having to swallow death at such a young age. I mean he still asks me when she's coming back. I look into his eyes and don't know what to say. His big brown eyes so full of confusion. Speaking of confusion, there's me. What did I do to deserve this life? How could God allow this considering there are babies out there who need good homes.<br />
<br />
Things go quiet for a while, between myself and God. I've read a few books others have recommended. While reading them life kind of made sense, He would never allow this to happen, it's how the world works, and Satan. Then I walk day to day and watch time continuously pass, and others grow farther and farther from what happened to us. Dates come and less and less check in. Others move on. And I become bitter. Bitter towards God. So, I can't really blame him for getting quiet on me. The good thing is He is forgiving. I realize even in my deepest, darkest hole, farthest away from God, that his breath is how I'm still going. The breath from others praying for my family. The breath of strength. The breath of Simons smile. The breath of David and I surviving this past year, together. The breath of co-workers who made sure I got through each day. The breath of a new boss (and his wife) who showed compassion and grace. The breath of family to love on us, and to hurt with us. The breath of a spiritual leader and his wife who show nothing but patience and never ending love. God is always there even when I think i don't want him. He will continue to breath these things in me until my dying moment. If we are just being honest, I didn't know how I was going to survive this past year, or how I will survive the next one, or the next. But I do. I keep surviving, even when I don't want to. So because of that, I know God hasn't forsaken me, yet some days it seems like He has.<br />
<br />
So back to the song by Nick Lachey. I realized these words resonated with me. A little over two weeks ago I woke up in the middle of the night (or maybe in the morning - I can't remember) and heard God speak to me, as clear as day. When your child suddenly dies, you're left with a life of wondering, no closure, blame, remorse. But I heard what God had to say to me. I'm still left with guilt, blame, remorse but he gave me a small piece of closure which I'm sure over the years he will continue to piece me back together, differently. So read the words below. I'm trying here. Really trying. I don't 100% trust you, God, not yet. But I'm trying. So take what's left of me. I can't walk this walk alone anymore.<br />
<br />
Here are the words:<br />
<div class="lyrics-body">
<div class="js-lyric-text invalid-selection" id="lyrics-body-text">
<div class="verse">
Watch my life pass me by<br />
In the rear view mirror<br />
Pictures frozen in time<br />
Are becoming clearer</div>
<div class="verse">
I don't wanna waste another day<br />
Stuck in the shadow of my mistakes, yeah</div>
<div class="verse">
Cause I want you and I feel you<br />
Crawling underneath my skin<br />
Like a hunger, like a burning<br />
To find a place I've never been</div>
<div class="verse">
Now I'm broken and I'm fading<br />
I'm half the man I thought I would be<br />
But you can have what's left of me</div>
<div class="verse">
I've been dying inside<br />
Little by little<br />
No where to go but going out of my mind<br />
In endless circles</div>
<div class="verse">
Running from myself until<br />
You gave me a reason for standing still</div>
<div class="verse">
And I want you and I feel you<br />
Crawling underneath my skin<br />
Like a hunger, like a burning<br />
To find a place I've never been</div>
<div class="verse">
Now I'm broken and I'm fading<br />
I'm half the man I thought I would be<br />
But you can have what's left of me</div>
<div class="verse">
Falling faster, barely breathing<br />
Give me something to believe in<br />
Tell me it's not all in my head</div>
<div class="verse">
Take what's left of this man<br />
Make me whole once again</div>
<div class="verse">
Cause I want you and I feel you<br />
Crawling underneath my skin<br />
A hunger, like a burning<br />
To find a place I've never been</div>
<div class="verse">
Now I'm broken and I'm fading<br />
I'm half the man I thought I would be<br />
You can have all that's left, yeah yeah yeah<br />
What's left of me</div>
<div class="verse">
I've been dying inside, you see<br />
I'm going outta my, outta my mind<br />
I'm just running in circles all the time</div>
<div class="verse">
Will you take what's left?<br />
Will you take what's left?<br />
Will you take what's left of me?<br />
Just running in circles in my mind</div>
<div class="verse">
Will you take what's left?<br />
Will you take what's left?<br />
Will you take what's left of me?<br />
Take what's left of me</div>
</div>
</div>
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This is the very last picture I took of Evie before dropping her off to take Si for his four year check up. It's been one year since this picture. My life is forever changed by her. I love you, munchie.<br /><div style="background-color: white; border: medium none; color: black; overflow: hidden; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;">
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Brayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12625216967589031792noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4409730273713118569.post-90642381327406226802016-01-21T20:23:00.001-06:002016-01-21T20:23:54.335-06:00Sweet SimonSimon started pre-k this past August. I wish I could say he absolutely LOVES it. He only tolerates it. He's always asking 'Is there no more school' and I cringe when he asks on Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesdays. By Wednesday, he will flat out cry when you tell him he has TWO more days of school left. The good news is I don't have to leave him kicking and screaming every morning. He wakes up and we get dressed and eat on the way to school. He never cries (I'm probably jinxing myself) on the way to school or once we get there. The first two weeks of school are another story entirely but we've gotten over that hump (the Walmart toy section benefited from his tears). His teacher sends me pictures sometimes and he's always smiling in them so hopefully he is having some fun. Before school let out for the Christmas break I had a conference with his teacher. She only had good things to say about him (she better) so I'm hoping this means she hasn't picked up on how much he despises her class. Good news is he seems to like her so I don't think this is a reflection on her part whatsoever. Simon is a homebody. He'd rather be here at home than any where else at any given time. If you say, "Si, do you want to go to Disney World", he will more than likely tell you "No". Just who he is. With all of this said, sometimes he makes entertaining comments about what he'll do so he won't have to go to school. His recent fad is super heroes; Hulk, Captain America, Iron Man, Spider Man. I've heard him say things like he's going to grow up big like Hulk so he can smash the school so he won't have to go. I laugh and tell him how silly he is but deep down I'm wondering if I should be concerned...I mean he has 12 more years of this, at least. Let's just pray Kindergarten will be a different experience for him and let's be thankful there are laws about being in school up to a certain age. Surely he'll be convinced by a law, right?<br />
<br />
I say all of that as background information for a conversation he and I had today. Six months ago Si asked on a more regular basis about Evie. Questions I'll never forget. He asked the same ones within a few days apart but eventually he asked me this, "Will Evie ever come back?". I wish I could say I had this long drawn out, extravagant answer. I didn't. I couldn't say anything. I shook my head and tears fell down my cheek. That look on his face. I'll never forget it. Disappointment. Simon experienced disappointment and that crushed what was left of my soul. It's hard watching your child grieve. It's also hard to explain to a four year old where his sister is. She was here and then all of a sudden she wasn't. He and I dropped her off that morning, July 15, and he never saw her again. We didn't let him be a part of her service or allow him to see her before the service in the casket. I don't regret that decision. He didn't need to see her like that. But he misses her too. Heaven and God are mostly over his head right now but we've talked about it more in the last six months than he and I ever have before. He knows "baby Ebee" is in Heaven with God. He knows that she's safe and that she's still apart of our family. He will tell anyone he has a baby named Ebee (Evie). That's his baby, she was his from the beginning and to this day, that's still his baby. It is so sweet watching him continue on her legacy. But its so hard as well. Imagine your precious child asking for something, knowing you can NEVER give them what they want. My words don't put a dent in the pain it causes me knowing he doesn't get to have his baby back either. <br />
<br />
So today, Simon had a dentist appointment. This was his second cleaning appointment. His first cleaning was back in June, when Evie was still with us. All three of us went on that trip and it was one of those trips that makes you realize life is different with two. That trip consisted of Evie's bottle spilling out all over the place, Simon having an accident, Evie blowing out her diaper, then spitting up what little I could salvage of her formula. I walked into the Carter's outlet in commerce with two naked kids that day. I specifically remember laughing so I wouldn't cry. On our drive to commerce today, I was talking to Simon about his first dentist appointment and how they just brushed his teeth and how sweet they were to him. We were talking about the last trip out there and he remembered Evie spitting up. I should have seen this coming but out of no where he says, "Mama, I'm ready to go be with God and Ebee". Ditto, my child. At this point I can barely see the road through my watery eyes. I clear my throat and ask him "Why do you say that", and he says, "So I won't have to go to school anymore!". Literally a laugh out loud moment! This child is desperate for 'NO MORE SCHOOL'.<br />
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Most days Si is the reason I keep going, keep getting up, keep pushing forward. Moments like today help me see it a little more clearly. I need constant reminders of why I'm still here and God blesses me with those moments. Sometimes it through Simon, sometimes its through friends, and sometimes its through my kids at school. But I also know I'm not alone in my sadness and grief. My first born is still grieving too. He and I are on different levels, but he lost his baby sister. He may be 4, but he knows our home is different.<br />
<br />
For those of you reading this, I am forever grateful for your thoughts and prayers but I have a favor to ask of you; please pray for Simon as well. As he gets older he will understand a little better but he still misses his baby. When we visit where she is buried, Simon always asks for the key to the church so we can get her. For him, Heaven is a place here on earth where babies are. I'm always praying for the right words to help him understand but I always have a loss for words. Evie dying has affected everyone in our house, not just me, not just David. I'd give anything to have her back and it seems Si feels the same.Brayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12625216967589031792noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4409730273713118569.post-38798628822914304672016-01-15T08:25:00.001-06:002016-01-16T15:05:38.662-06:006 Months and CountingI've stared at this screen more than once over the past six months. I get to a point where I feel like I know what I'll write about and I come here and I freeze. I've never been great with words but how do you write about your heart shattering? Your life forever changing? I cry. I grieve. I do things I shouldn't do to help the pain but the truth is, it's always there no matter what. But that pain is also what keeps me alive. If there were no pain, no tears, no feeling of absolute emptiness, that would mean the event that took place didn't bother me. It bothered me. It turned my world completely upside down and inside out and every twist and turn that could happen.<br />
<br />
This past Wednesday was the first Wednesday that fell on the 13th, the date of her birth. I chose for her to be born on the 13th because my grandmother and I both were born on the 13th. If you don't know me, my grandmother means the world to me. She has been my rock when no one else cared or seemed to care about me. She's always been there for me, no matter what. No judgment or belittling. But this isn't about her. It's about my daughter, Evie, Evangeline McKenna List. My grandmothers name is Evangeline. Evie would be 10 months old now if she were still here with us. I imagine what she would feel like, smell like. How much hair she would have. If she would still be sleeping through the night. If she would have teeth. Curls? If she would be as attached to me as Simon was. I'm always wondering these things. I doubt that will ever stop.<br />
<br />
Today is six months since the day she died. If you haven't said that out loud, you should say it. It doesn't seem real unless you've said it out loud. Go ahead, say it; Evie died. I don't expect it to make your heart shatter as much as it makes mine shatter all over again but I do hope you feel a slight ache in your chest where I have a huge gaping hole. A hole that can never be replaced by another relationship, another child, another life. She went to sleep in this life and woke up in Heaven. A beyond magical place I'm dying to get to now. The hardest part of this is wondering if I'm good enough to get into Heaven. Wondering if I do something could I sacrifice the chance to not be with her again one day. Do you know how intensely scary that is? To wonder if you'll make it into Heaven to be able to see your child again? If you aren't a Christian just move past this part, I won't explain to you my religion or my beliefs. I will tell you one thing though, God is how I've survived six excruciating months without my adorable, sweet, precious baby girl. God has placed so many awesome people into mine and Davids lives that have helped us through this most difficult time. If you don't know God, my prayer is something miraculous happens in your life that helps you find Him. He is the most forgiving, gracious being, without being.<br />
<br />
My life hasn't ended. I should take every opportunity to live while I can. But I don't want to. I want to stay in bed every day. I want to dig a hole and stay in there. I want to pack all my things and disappear with Simon. I want to be alone. I don't want to be alone. I want to scream at the top of my lungs and don't have the energy. This life I live now, it's just different. I'm restless for my old life where I had both my babies, my husband, my house, my job. All of that is different. Nothing is the same. Sure, I still have my house, my job, my husband, my Si. And yet it isn't enough. A piece of our puzzle is missing. Evie. Evie is missing. She is gone, but that doesn't mean I've accepted it. I want her back. Every.damn.day. I want her in my arms. I want her back in her bed beside my bed. I want to smell her. I want to see her smile when she sees me, when she sees Simon, David. Her smell is harder to find now around the house. Her bedroom is gone. Her clothes have been made into a quilt. Her blanket is buried with her. All I have are a few things lingering around the house. Pictures, Memories, Her bed, her swing, two pacifiers, and no Evie.<br />
<br />
I've not had the easiest life yet I've always found a way to claw my way back up and keep going. I don't know how to claw my way out of this one. I'm broken. Shattered. Misplaced. Restless. Sad. Grateful at times. And then more words I can't even think of. Time will not ever heal this but I'm told over time I'll learn to handle this better. I'll learn to walk again, with a limp of course. But please don't ever think for a second Evie isn't always on my mind. This pain, it may ease up over time but that hole will always be there. When you encounter a blow like that, you never fully recover. Ever.<br />
<br />
Evie, if you're listening, I miss you every second. I'm overwhelmed with greatness that God chose me to be your mommy. I cannot wait to see you again on the most glorious day there will be. <br />
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<br />Brayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12625216967589031792noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4409730273713118569.post-41311834033494129962013-07-18T20:26:00.002-05:002013-07-18T20:26:34.795-05:00Simon Turns 2!!!!It is unbelievable how quickly this last year has flown by. Seems like yesterday I was stressing over putting the big first birthday party together. It's almost a literal blur...<br />
<br />
I didn't go overboard with a HUGE party this year, instead we played it low key and did what I thought he would enjoy the most. We did have a <strike>very</strike> small party, and by small, I mean oh so small! Simon doesn't like cake, so he had ice cream instead, oh and goldfish :).<br />
<br />
July 2, 2013 - I decided the game plan for his big day this year would be a petting zoo. He really enjoys animals and seeing them in their natural state (or close to it). Not too far from where we live is a little petting zoo by the name of Hollywild (<a href="http://www.hollywild.com/">http://www.hollywild.com/</a>). My cousin, Anna, joined us on this adventure. <br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Simon racing to see the animals</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Have no clue what the name of this is, but the baby birds were adorable!</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"></td></tr>
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I can honestly say I've only seen goats on rocks in the movies, never in real life. Check this out! These things jumped to get down to where we were. Oh, did I mention Hollywild provided us with a bag of food (crackers, corn, bread) to feed these sweet things?!?<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Please feed me!</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sweetest animals! They were so gentle when getting the crackers.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Too bad we couldn't hand feed this thing.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Or this one....</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Do you see all of these goats climbing the fence for food!</td></tr>
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Hollywild offers a 'safari tour' about every 45 minutes depending on weather. They loaded several crowds of people on a school bus and took us into the 'safari'. At the first stop we were able to feed cow, deer and emu (except they weren't so friendly).<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Please notice that tiny baby doe.</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Shortly after this I had to move Simon - the bird was trying to eat him</td></tr>
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If you're reading this, and have little ones, or know kids that would enjoy this, I highly recommend this place! I think Simons favorite part was running through the puddles and feeding all the random chickens walking around but the animals were pretty cool for him as well. It started <strike>pouring </strike>raining shortly after we loaded up for the safari tour but the rain didn't stop this little fellow from trying to get out there with them.<br />
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It was so awesome seeing him run around and having so much fun! They are only little once, but these experiences last a lifetime and I can't wait to make more of these with him in the years to come! I am so lucky to have him in my life! Happy 2nd birthday, my sweet Simon!Brayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12625216967589031792noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4409730273713118569.post-65249805933308486982013-07-15T20:05:00.001-05:002013-07-15T20:05:25.769-05:00Funday Friday!I don't know about you, but my favorite fruit has always been blueberries! Love, love, love them! When I was growing up we had three or four blueberry bushes and I remember picking them and eating them by the handfuls. Sadly my dad no longer lives in that house so I don't have access but leave it to Washington Farms to fulfill my blueberry picking needs. The weekend of the 4th (july), Simon and I met up with my dear friend, Caitlin, for some berry picking. We got a gallon of blueberries and blackberries. Simon ate more than he put in the bucket but he really seemed to enjoy himself!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Don't let this fool you, he was totally putting them in his mouth instead of in the bucket.</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">He found this stick and all of a sudden that was better than berries.</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">He literally ran through every puddle he could find, until he lost his shoe in this one...</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">See that juice stain...</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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<br />Brayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12625216967589031792noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4409730273713118569.post-11301297670717572532013-07-15T19:56:00.001-05:002013-07-18T20:29:21.968-05:00San Fransisco TripI can remember as a little kid watching Full House and dreaming of one day seeing the Golden Gate Bridge for myself. It's been a life long dream to travel and this year we were finally given the opportunity to visit Northern California. I have a cousin (by marriage) who lives just outside of San Fransisco that invited us for a visit, so we made it happen...FINALLY! I was very anxious in the beginning about traveling with a little one, but I must say, Simon was a trooper! Not one tear on the airplane either way and pretty much slept the whole flight. He was awake for take off, so he will tell you all about the lights and the stars and how we were up in the sky. After that, he was out!<br />
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Day 1 (Tuesday):<br />
We pretty much rested and tried to catch our breath. California is 3 hours behind so when it's midnight here, it's only 9pm their time. Let's just say the first few days, Simon and I were ready for bed by 5pm California time, 8pm our time. Yes, that meant getting up at 4:30am their time.<br />
That evening, I walked outside to take the trash out (dirty diaper) and I heard music. I was overjoyed to see the ice-cream truck drive by. We were able to flag the truck down and everyone enjoyed an ice-cream from the truck. We also made a trip to Walmart for some Simon friendly food. Yep, they have Walmarts there!<br />
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Day 2 (Wednesday):<br />
We had all caught up on some much needed sleep and decided to venture out to see what Northern California had in store for us. Sacramento, here we come! We walked around Old Sacramento. There was an old school building we walked through, as well as shops and a train station where (had it been opened) you got to ride a train and tour the area. We also toured the Old Sacramento Train Museum. <br />
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Tower Bridge going into Sacramento <br />
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Government building in Sacramento<br />
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An old school house in the middle of Old Sacramento<br />
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A bed and breakfast boat on the Sac River<br />
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Ziggurat Building off the Sacramento River<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Enjoying his Whistle Pop Sucker in the Candy Store<br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">We stopped for dinner but Simon wasn't too interested in eating, after-all, he had a sucker from a candy shop in Old Sac. </span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Was going to clean his plate, even if it meant shoving it all off onto the table...</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Feeding his daddy b/c he wasn't interested in eating his food.</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
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Day 3 (Thursday): We ventured out to the Jelly Belly Factory.<br />
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During the 20 minute tour, we had to wear the hats, as pictured above. Simon wasn't a huge fan but he did thoroughly enjoy the jelly bean tasting during the tour. I think they handed out a total of 6 different flavored jelly beans. The three pictures following this paragraph were all made out of different colored jelly beans. There were a ton of these hanging around the place but these seemed to be the ones David took pics of.<br />
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After the tour, we were given a bag of jelly beans, all different flavors. David and Madison were feeling a little on the edge and decided they both wanted to try the 'dog food' flavored jelly bean (gag). Later on, David and I tried the vomit flavored jelly bean. Let's just say it really tastes like vomit. I'm not sure why anyone decided how or why to make that flavor.<br />
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Day 4 (Friday): I believe this way a good solid day of rest for the girls and Simon. David and Tony toured the Budweiser Factory but I don't have any pictures of that :/.<br />
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Day 5 (Saturday): If you've ever visited northern California, there are a ton of hills. Well, I guess you call them hills. They look super easy to climb and are covered in yellow/tan grass. David was dying to hike these so Tony took him to hike. This was the beginning of his hike. Seems pretty easy, huh. No tall grass, no steep hills.<br />
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Now we see what that yellow/tan grass really is...<br />
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And we have another trail.<br />
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And another...<br />
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A view of the beautiful hills from a little higher up.<br />
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Above: A view of Vacaville, CA from the top of the hill David climbed.<br />
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Isn't that such an awesome picture? I wish now I had gone with him on this hike.<br />
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If you'll look closely at the picture below, you'll see a row of windmills. Those windmills provide power for several nearby towns.<br />
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A few other views of Vacaville, CA. Love the rows of houses he pictured below.<br />
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After his hike, we all piled up in the van and headed west for Dillon Beach, CA which is in the Marin County area. I'll let the pictures speak for themselves:<br />
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Day 6 (Sunday): We had another rest and recoup day. Madison, David, Si and I did go hang out at the local water park/pool but Si played on their playground instead of getting in the water.<br />
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Day 7 (Monday): Monday came around way too fast. I'm pretty sure we all adjusted to the time change and were pretty much settled when it was time to leave again. Instead of dwelling on the fact we would be flying out later that evening, we embraced our last day and took off to see the city of San Fransisco and tour Alcatraz. I will say, once you've seen a prison cell, you've seen them all but it was very interesting to hear the stories that happened behind those cell walls.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Pier 39</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">SEALS!!!!!</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This was actually a man built island/restaurant floating by the dock</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Golden Gate</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Rock</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Approaching the Rock</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I guess if they made it to Alcatraz, they didn't deserve a bed</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Their play yard</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Madison, Tony, Amy and Brooklyn</td></tr>
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We really enjoyed our (short) trip and were sad to say goodbye but it was so good to be back home in our own beds, on our schedules, and back to our lives. This trip wouldn't have happened without Amy and Tony Crawford. They sacrificed their home and busy schedules to accommodate us and we will forever be grateful for them allowing us this opportunity!<br />
<br />Brayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12625216967589031792noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4409730273713118569.post-36206230058133603092013-05-07T20:35:00.001-05:002013-05-07T20:35:49.852-05:00Silver Lining RemakeI use to watch movies all of the time. You could say it was a favorite past time. Then came marriage (well, it was still one of my favorites), then a baby who is now sleeping through the night, YAY!!! Watching movies now usually involves staying up (late) after Si goes down, or cramming it in on the weekends during nap time when I should be doing something else. Let's just say I don't do much movie watching anymore - what can I say, I value sleep! Today while I was at work I got a hankering to watch a movie, and I knew exactly what movie I wanted to watch, Silver Lining. I'd read great reviews and heard so many good things about it, and the best part, it didn't disappoint.<br />
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So many lines of that movie sum up how I view life, or try to. It's taken me almost 29 years to realize good comes out of every bad situation. My glass isn't always half empty, it's always half full! The two main characters, Pat and Tiffany, were dealt some pretty crappy cards in life but found each other in the midst of all their pain and agony. They were each others "silver lining". Can you get a more honest story line? No, these two didn't see it right off, well, Pat didn't, but that's the best thing about this movie. The minute I saw David I knew he was my silver lining to 'my crappy cards'. He didn't know it at that moment, but it didn't take him long to realize I was his as well (at least I think I am). We both have skeletons that could jump out at any given time and for the most part I'm always fighting off demons but that is what makes our love different and romantic. He accepts me for who I am today because of what has happened, and vice verse, except I have to say David came out on top for sure. He's a much stronger person than I am and for that I'm eternally grateful to God for allowing me to spend the majority of my life with a man who I know will always help me when I fall.<br />
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Life is hard. Nothing about it is easy. We all chose our own paths, even when we see the flashing red signs telling us not to go down them. We eventually recover (somewhat) and learn to live with ourselves and the others surrounding us. Its when you aren't looking or paying attention that the good intervenes. I may have just found my new favorite movie!Brayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12625216967589031792noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4409730273713118569.post-61908445092103809472012-12-03T20:05:00.003-06:002012-12-03T20:05:57.675-06:00Early Christmas!I've been searching for toy boxes for several months now. Let's face it, all children must have a toy box! Unfortunately, I'm not the person that is okay with toys strewn all over my house, taking up space in every room, occupying valuable floor space, etc. While I was doing a search I found a blog from a very crafty mother who decided a home made toy box was the way to go. After begging my father in law/husband to build one, they finally said yes :) (really my father in law loved the opportunity do get out of doing house work). I gave him the measurements and the blog link of what I wanted. I will admit to totally stealing this mom's idea, but hey, from the pictures below, I know you'll want to steal her idea as well.<br />
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The measurements are 2 feet wide by 3 feed long, yep, HUGE! What can I say, Simon has LOTS of toys! After it was built, I decided I wanted to paint it blue. Here it is sitting in my kitchen floor after I painted:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEGvGBx5zMOlIpBjZKAHQVNGTpH_l-C2ntgIlxdyDSOG8Zkl9cK1D1G7uNvtHTBxxM1BKXkhqjobhXGvpygnVUMDY6ty_n4u-S3-6_NAD95GPRevXYsNhEmEtfx8d7ch_WmkHedEAq5hg/s1600/photo(6).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEGvGBx5zMOlIpBjZKAHQVNGTpH_l-C2ntgIlxdyDSOG8Zkl9cK1D1G7uNvtHTBxxM1BKXkhqjobhXGvpygnVUMDY6ty_n4u-S3-6_NAD95GPRevXYsNhEmEtfx8d7ch_WmkHedEAq5hg/s320/photo(6).JPG" width="240" /> </a></div>
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After the paint job was done, I had a friend of mine come over to do a little stenciling for me. The pattern was printed online and she basically just traced it on to the toy box. After the tracing was finished I went in for the hard part - painting the lines. Let's just say I have the most unsteady hand! While I was painting it looked terrible. I was quite worried. However, here is the final result:<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjb2j8mivwKUKemt4z2PRj9leu7NiMPZkevp-sQsTV2T600d9wsbLd0bCn2O-6dF_4_-XtGq8n3JRkx0xCKLolJTidAH-5Lo77oFOCshLMSGm8BO19sY89yooLTAEeMBQXgokMeWxWVRlA/s1600/photo(2).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjb2j8mivwKUKemt4z2PRj9leu7NiMPZkevp-sQsTV2T600d9wsbLd0bCn2O-6dF_4_-XtGq8n3JRkx0xCKLolJTidAH-5Lo77oFOCshLMSGm8BO19sY89yooLTAEeMBQXgokMeWxWVRlA/s320/photo(2).JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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I could not be more pleased with this! It turned out amazingly beautiful and now there is one place for all those toys that are constantly scattered amongst my small but cozy house.</div>
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Thank you to all who helped make this possible: My father in law for building this and might I add he kilz'd it, my friend from work who stenciled this like a pro, and for my sweet husband for lifting and carrying this thing all over our house. I'm happy, Si seemed to love it, and now we have something to pass on from generation to generation...unless the zombie apocalypse happens and we have to use it to stay warm...Brayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12625216967589031792noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4409730273713118569.post-83163856254588017812012-11-25T20:15:00.000-06:002012-11-25T20:15:06.597-06:00My empire of dirtThere are people in this world who will literally suck all the life out of you to get what they want. Unfortunately we can't always get away from them, due to extenuating circumstances. You either chose to let them suck the life out of you, or chose to take each experience with a grain of salt and try not to give in. <br />
Every once in a while I feel like I have lived my whole life this way, always giving in to others needs and taking nothing for myself. I've let the people I love and care about the most suck my heart and soul out of me, leaving an empty slate for anyone else who comes along. Its sad really, that until I turned 28 I had no clue what was happening. Twenty eight years of my life, that's my lifetime! <br />
About a month ago I realized it was time to start living for myself. I'm not sure what happened really, but something inside of me wanted a change, and something inside of me knew it could change. You see, it's easy to avoid those types of people if they aren't your family, not so easy when they are. <br />
I have a son who loves me, a husband who would do anything for me, a house I can call mine, a job, an education. I have life of my own. I can't continue to let others suck what life I have left. So as I write this, and if you read this, no one says it better than Johnny Cash: you can have it all, my empire of dirt - because up to this point, that's all I am.Brayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12625216967589031792noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4409730273713118569.post-29068445845125158552012-11-06T20:18:00.001-06:002012-11-06T20:18:38.674-06:00Toddler TantrumsWell, the day has come. I officially feel like a terrible parent. I have family members who swear their children never went through the terrible two stages. "It's all about how you, the parent, respond to them", they'd say. So while my child is laying on the floor screaming and carrying on, exactly what am I suppose to do? Ignore that? Walk away? Act like I can't hear the ear piercing screams from my 'sweet little baby'? Seriously! That makes them stop? Prove it!<br />
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I have always been the one to hear babies crying, kids pitching fits, or just making noise in general. After you have kids, that's suppose to change, right? It all just blends in with the background noise? Right! I still can't tune out my own kid, much less any other child carrying on. Is there a secret to this 'tuning out' that someone would like to share with me :). Maybe that would help the both of us.<br />
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For the most part, Simon is just finding his place in our family. We don't feed him a lot of sweets or junk food, but I've made the mistake of giving him animal crackers after dinner. He also has a bedtime snack...what? he has always eaten a lot! That boy came out looking for a hamburger! The dilemma now is he eats anything they feed him at school, but he has stopped eating what I put in front of him. Grrrr, dumb animal crackers. We have a hutch in our kitchen where I store his baby snacks, and he knows that's where they are. If he doesn't want what I put down on his tray to eat, he immediately looks at the hutch and starts carrying on about he would rather have some puffs, or a cereal bar, or baby Cheetos (yes, they make those), or animal crackers. By carrying on I don't mean actually talking, its more like he's speaking a foreign language, but I know what he means. Tonight I gave him unbreaded chicken tenders that had mushroom gravy on them (no mushrooms). The chicken was tender, and usually he loves chicken. I also gave him some baked apples and a cheese stick. He took one bite of the chicken, one bite of the apples, then took the cheese stick and threw it in the floor. Don't worry, we have a dog who loves cheese. Then, the fussing began. I had already decided I was going to ignore him tonight to see if he would eventually eat what I'd given him. His fussing turned into a full fledged tantrum. At this point I was pretty sure outside was calling me. This kid may be more stubborn than his mother....he did eventually eat the apples (or either the dog did) but he didn't touch the chicken. Note to self: Si does NOT like mushroom and gravy on chicken. He was all worked up so we snuggled in the rocker for a bit then it was bath time. His little belly was growling the whole time. After bath, he ran into the kitchen pointing at the hutch. <br />
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A lot of mommies talk about 'choosing their battles' between their spouses and children. How is it that my 16 month old slaughters me in battle?Brayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12625216967589031792noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4409730273713118569.post-38653711853531674012012-11-05T20:09:00.000-06:002012-11-05T20:09:38.751-06:00Angels vs DemonsI was once told 'Everyone fights demons. Everyone has an inner demon'. That may be a false statement for you, but the more life I witness, the more I believe this statement. At times, we all face a darkness that seems to consume our every movement, our every thought, our state of being. Couldn't this be called a demon? Something that tries to bring us to our knees, something that can make life so difficult getting out of bed seems unrealistic? My favorite definition of the word 'demon' is 'an evil passion or influence'. If I am the only person that has experienced this, then Lord help me! These dark times for me started when I was a young teenager, possibly middle school. I haven't been able to pinpoint an exact time or event, I just remember it coming over me like a dark cloud. Yes, another word for this could be depression. However, during these times I would always remember the song "Oh be careful little eyes what you see, oh be careful little ears what you hear". It seemed everything was much more influential during these times: music, friends, parents. As I've gotten older I've learned to surround myself with the positive things in life, but lets face it, one can't always be positive. That inner demon finds its way up every now and then. There are people who have never experienced depression, and for those of you who are reading this that haven't, you're not missing out on anything, really. Scientifically, it just means all your juices are flowing the way they should be :). There are skeptics who say its all in our heads or we control how we feel, but that really isn't the case. As I mentioned above, I've lived long enough to realize the statement is true. Not every person deals with depression, but everyone at some point has an inner demon they must fight. Some win, some lose. The good news is most people don't have to fight this on their own. Family, friends, siblings, spouses, neighbors, counselors, doctors, etc are all there to help people out during times of need. I call these people Angels. Whether you reach out, or keep it buried inside, someone is always there to comfort you. The definition of an angel is this: <span id="hotword"><span id="hotword" name="hotword" style="color: #333333; cursor: default;">a</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword" style="color: #333333; cursor: default;">person</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword" style="color: #333333; cursor: default;">having</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">qualities</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">generally</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">attributed</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">to</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">an</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">angel,</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">as</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword">beauty,</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword" style="color: #333333; cursor: default;">purity,</span> <span id="hotword" name="hotword" style="color: #333333; cursor: default;">or</span> <span style="color: #0055bb;"><span style="color: black;">kindliness</span>.<span style="color: black;"> All I can say is, thank goodness there are kind people on this earth for me to share my burdens with.</span> </span><span style="color: black;">If you are going through something, there are people out there that care about you, open up, let it out, after all, that's why God put angels on this earth.</span></span><br />
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<span>I realize this isn't my typical post, but I've started a 10 day challenge for myself. Ten days of blogging, ten days of eating better, ten days of consistent exercise, which means ten days of turning my blog into 'my journal'. Writing about whatever is on mind. I only want to continue to better myself for my son, my family. Taking care of me is where it starts. This may be Microsoft word material, filed away and locked up tight, but why hide? I've hidden for too long!</span>Brayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12625216967589031792noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4409730273713118569.post-68634622657870893552012-09-09T06:52:00.000-05:002012-09-09T06:52:02.771-05:00Simons 1st Birthday Photo Shoot If you live in our area and decide you'd like some pictures made professionally, look up <a href="http://www.stephiehicksphotography.com/" target="_blank">Stephanie Finch-Hicks</a>. She always does such a great job! I'll let the pics speak for themselves.<br />
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<br />Brayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12625216967589031792noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4409730273713118569.post-16175145386156705012012-09-09T06:42:00.002-05:002012-09-09T06:42:41.884-05:00Simon Turns One!!!July 2, 2012 came all too quickly for us. I never understood what other parents meant when, enjoy them while you can, time flies. Boy, were they right! I have to admit, it took me several months to plan this birthday bash, but it came together pretty well I must say. Our theme for birthday number 1 was Dr. Seuss. We had yummy food and a beautiful cake thanks to Casey's Cakes out of Hull, GA. Family and close friends were there to celebrate his special day!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Decorated the fireplace in the theme of the party</td></tr>
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This is the table food, we had lots of yummy goodies. Gotta give a shout out to the other bloggers who posted ideas about this party. Thank you!!!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Truffula Trees from The Lorax</td></tr>
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These were cake pops made by Mrs. Hardy out of Elberton, look her up, you won't be disappointed! <br />
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Then there was the cake. The top part of this cake was his smash cake. <br />
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Green Eggs and Ham for the infamous book, Green Eggs and Ham. Yes, those are pretzels, but who wants to eat eggs at a birthday party?<br />
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Cocktail weenies wrapped in dough, we called them Dogs in a Blanket for Go, Dog, Go!<br />
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Popcorn for Hop on Pop<br />
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I got this drink idea from a pin on pinterest. Beezlenut Splash, sprite with different colored jello floating around. Not everyone enjoyed the jello, but it sure made a pretty pitcher!<br />
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All of Simon's gifts! He received so many toys and Dr. Seuss books! He also got a sandbox and a lightening McQueen car from the movie, Cars.<br />
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Here are some pictures of Simon checking his cake out. He wasn't so sure about it. Up until this point, we had never given him anything like this. The icing was a bit hard so it wasn't as easy to grab into, but he did want a taste.<br />
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Turns out, he was more interested in the fork than anything else. Oh well, guess he won't be like his Mommy after all.<br />
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<br />Brayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12625216967589031792noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4409730273713118569.post-53588547021702774662012-09-09T06:16:00.000-05:002012-09-09T06:16:13.870-05:00Catch upWow, time has flown by and now he's right at 14 months old. Whoopsy! To start things off, this past year has been a hard year but I wouldn't trade anything for the world. Simon is much like his mother and father, very independent, strong willed, and doesn't like to hear the word 'no'. Let's take a glance at this past year.<br />
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Simon started crawling right around the 8 months old mark. He became fond of the entertainment center and then he noticed the dog bed in our living room.<br />
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Then it was the fire place.<br />
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Simon grew to LOVE bath time! Now that he's older, he lets the water out of the bathtub and continues playing.<br />
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Back in March, my parents got Si his first outside play place. He was a bit too small at first but now he enjoys playing on it.<br />
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Here is a pic of his first Aquarium trip:<br />
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We took a trip to Savannah back in April to visit with my friend, Marisa. While we were there we spent the day at Tybee Island. Simon wasn't really sure about the beach, not to mention, he didn't sleep well while we were there. Between the sand in his eyes and his lack of sleep, it wasn't the best beach trip ever...<br />
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We spend a lot of time in Atlanta now, specifically on the Chattahoochee River. Simons Poppy and Omi live there. He loves water, so we take him to see the River almost every time we visit.<br />
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That's a fast update, but if I run across anymore pictures, I'll post them (in their own blog of course). I promise I'll do better with this :)Brayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12625216967589031792noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4409730273713118569.post-58967062433177607512011-12-08T13:56:00.001-06:002011-12-08T13:56:11.260-06:00Simons 1st christmas<div class="sflyProductPreviewWidget" style="width:425px; height:494px;"><div class="sflyProductPreviewWidgetTop" style="height:6px; background-image:url(http://cdn.staticsfly.com/img_/share/preview/msc/widget/top.gif);"></div><div class="sflyProductPreviewWidgetCenter" style="height:482px; padding: 0 6px 0 6px; background-image:url(http://cdn.staticsfly.com/img_/share/preview/msc/widget/bg.gif); background-repeat:repeat-y;"><div class="sflyProductPreviewLogo" style="width: 105px; height: 34px; padding: 14px 0 0 14px;"><img src="http://cdn.staticsfly.com/img_/share/preview/msc/widget/logo.gif" style="padding: 0; background: #ffffff; border: none; box-shadow: none;"></div><div class="sflyProductPreviewContainer" style="height:350px; text-align:center; padding: 0;"><a href="http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=0AbNmLFuzbM2jmA&eid=115"><img src="http://images-community.shutterfly.com/prs/v1/0AbNmLFuzbM2iA/0AbNmLFuzbM2iOSg/p/67b0de21b3127d902548/JPEG/1323373842000/0/" style="padding: 0; background: #ffffff; border: none; box-shadow: none;"></a></div><div class="sflyProductPreviewMessageContainer" style="height:55px; background-color:#f4f4e9; text-align:center; padding: 15px 0 15px 0; line-height: 19px;"><div class="sflyProductPreviewTitle" style="font-family: arial, sans-seris; font-size: 15px; color: #333333; font-weight: bold;"><span>Sparkling Snowflakes Christmas</span></div><div class="sflyProductPreviewSEOText" style="font-family: arial, sans-seris; font-size: 13px; color: #333333;"><span>Create <a href="http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery/christmas-cards" style="color: #6666cc;">unique Christmas cards</a> with Shutterfly.</span></div><div class="sflyProductPreviewViewCollection" style="font-family: arial, sans-seris; font-size: 13px; color: #333333;"><span>View the entire <a href="http://www.shutterfly.com/cards-stationery" style="color: #6666cc;">collection</a> of cards.</span></div><img width="1" height="1" border="0" style="padding: 0; background: #ffffff; border: none; box-shadow: none;" src="https://os.shutterfly.com/b/ss/sflyshareprod/1/H.15/111?pageName=sharekey&c1=msc&c2=blogger" /></div></div><div class="sflyProductPreviewWidgetBottom" style="height:6px; background-image:url(http://cdn.staticsfly.com/img_/share/preview/msc/widget/bottom.gif);"></div></div>Brayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12625216967589031792noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4409730273713118569.post-27443844031067919172011-10-12T20:28:00.000-05:002011-10-12T20:28:38.343-05:00Today, we say goodbye to a good friendWell, they say good things must come to an end..and so today, we say goodbye to Simon's best friend, Mr. Swing. Yep, new batteries won't even fix it. We have run that swing so much it just can't go any longer. With that being said, let me tell you something a bit ironic. Three nights ago I had the strength, finally, to put Simon in his bed, awake, to start the self soothing process. He slept until 2am the next morning, not all night, but hey, it's a start. After he wakes up now in the night, we've been feeding him and putting him in his swing, just so we can all sleep peacefully for a few more hours. I'm saddened to say tonight will be much different. After he wakes, there will be no more Mr. Swing. Please pray for all of us as we transition him to strictly bed. This may just get the best of us all.Brayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12625216967589031792noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4409730273713118569.post-12322435437709334412011-10-10T20:29:00.000-05:002011-10-10T20:29:09.718-05:00Daddy DaycareWhen times are tough, you hunker down and face the challenge. This post is going to be about my amazing husband/partner in life, David. If you had asked me when I met this guy, if I would ever consider him stay at home daddy material, I may have laughed in your face. Not because he's unfit, or because I didn't have faith, but because David is a man who needs a challenge and constant change. He gets bored with routine and LOVES outdoors. Well, the inevitable has happened and David is staying home, raising our son. There really isn't a need for the why's and how's of this decision we've made, there is only deep appreciation that runs through my soul. I know it's more common for dads to stay home now, but David has exceeded any expectation I could have possibly ever had. He's just perfect with him and knowing Simon is home with him, makes work so much easier for me. There are a lot of moms out there who have to take their children to daycare, and for some, it's very difficult. Not one day have I ever been anxious about leaving for work, or have I had a panic attack about dropping him off with someone I barely know. I really am fortunate that right now, he's in his daddy's arms, safe and loved all day.<br />
I get a little teary eyed thinking about this. I'm not sad, but overjoyed that God has blessed me with the opportunity to have such a wonderful husband who took the challenge and embraces every day. I'm sure he gets bored, and I'm sure there are some days where he gets cabin fever, but not one time have I ever heard him complain. I see the way David looks at Simon, and it's just breathtaking to see the bond they have built already. No, he doesn't get his hands dirty by working outdoors. No, he doesn't get tired from working on his feet all day. No, he doesn't get bored sitting at a desk. Yes, he gets his hands dirty with diapers, gets tired from running Simon in the stroller (when he's fussy), and gets bored from being in this house too much sometimes but he does it all with a smile on his face, and for that, I fall in love with him even more everyday.<br />
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I did say in an earlier post that I'm not a writer. Half the time I don't make sense and most of the time, I'm terrible at leaving important details out. I just wanted you all to know how much I appreciate my husband, the father of my son.Brayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12625216967589031792noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4409730273713118569.post-28809512101105556452011-10-09T20:13:00.000-05:002011-10-09T20:13:09.529-05:00S is for Simon and Similac!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>I told you I'm terrible at this. I believe it's almost been a week since I've written. The past few days have been wonderful (i love weekends) and nothing much has happened on the home front. Simon is trying to hold his own bottle and yep, still sleeping in his swing. This morning, after he had breakfast, he started yelling. Not unhappy yelling, but smiling yelling. I think he's found a new noise to make and it's pretty adorable. He's not sitting up on his own, but he is able to hold his head up, so I just had to try...<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJVN_1O4cSzY_rqGpRhsTWXi9LYKZJihkmngHI65dARJ37cYbndFEMUem44l-6kbADr_7d96ucxS1KihJJt3od-W2iZrlz_JK_dmqNvLTvkkxaqLi6jr4KQSTtkqTFi75OeN3N6iiFKJg/s1600/IMG_0214.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJVN_1O4cSzY_rqGpRhsTWXi9LYKZJihkmngHI65dARJ37cYbndFEMUem44l-6kbADr_7d96ucxS1KihJJt3od-W2iZrlz_JK_dmqNvLTvkkxaqLi6jr4KQSTtkqTFi75OeN3N6iiFKJg/s320/IMG_0214.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>Yep, he's finally able to sit in his boppy. It seems to be a tight squeeze, especially after he eats (little buddha belly) but it works for now!<br />
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Brianne and Christy came to see him today. They brought him his first pumpkin. I must say, for a tiny pumpkin, I was impressed...way to go, David and Brianne!<br />
Simon with his pumpkin, in his pumpkin pj's.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinL8ciUNL5-LPWN2GmmN2feRP5d-bwqwkKSCI8zhVvUa5LNYvBEg2kx95fbDA7qznLElZ5plXQlhwM8RInAc0ot3c3AZZBxDEo0BZu9QVQM25PfYEpznhVFJxWi51PCiVo1RJ0quQUAEc/s1600/IMG_0230.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinL8ciUNL5-LPWN2GmmN2feRP5d-bwqwkKSCI8zhVvUa5LNYvBEg2kx95fbDA7qznLElZ5plXQlhwM8RInAc0ot3c3AZZBxDEo0BZu9QVQM25PfYEpznhVFJxWi51PCiVo1RJ0quQUAEc/s320/IMG_0230.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>Simon and Brianne lounging on the couch:<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUdz7ZwsCs3j3DAcNBBBFE59XS_vjlga2Df-52ck8iIBw2qrGPN2eR8hErAwlKYMIK3XXL9HsV3wq_EDgGOl6kgV27fwHvy__ezO22NxgCaRgUhnLPDrYJMc6viMQpfRzgR806FGKx9Yg/s1600/IMG_0229.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUdz7ZwsCs3j3DAcNBBBFE59XS_vjlga2Df-52ck8iIBw2qrGPN2eR8hErAwlKYMIK3XXL9HsV3wq_EDgGOl6kgV27fwHvy__ezO22NxgCaRgUhnLPDrYJMc6viMQpfRzgR806FGKx9Yg/s320/IMG_0229.JPG" width="320" /> </a></div>Okay, so Simon is a bit of a snob when it comes to formula. Yes, I did try to breastfeed, but that was about as successful as me trying to do math - it just didn't work. This really should be a separate post because I could go on about how long it took us to finally find a formula that worked, but I'll keep it short. After at least a month of searching and trying different types, David and I finally found Similac Soy, ready to feed liquid. Can I say THANK YOU to Similac for this formula! This made all of our lives ten times better, and when Si is happy, we are happy. For some reason the powder made him spit up but the ready feed doesn't. Just so you know, one ready feed bottle lasts him a day. This is what my kitchen hutch is filled with for now :<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoTU8GDFrHvmNEwLgr3PLxNdVT70yupsmDsxSnCnr3Y6RQJqbhR2Ch9ZbEegpFLC7nxkv5Q6WkqCV-xBAGCwSitECCFjdPvtxhiIhBXQYZRWigXH6o2fiXaYtU0ZrGzPhazZhw22bSb3Y/s1600/IMG_0213.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoTU8GDFrHvmNEwLgr3PLxNdVT70yupsmDsxSnCnr3Y6RQJqbhR2Ch9ZbEegpFLC7nxkv5Q6WkqCV-xBAGCwSitECCFjdPvtxhiIhBXQYZRWigXH6o2fiXaYtU0ZrGzPhazZhw22bSb3Y/s320/IMG_0213.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>21 bottles of ready feed soy, 21 days of food! That's all I'll say about this for now.Brayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12625216967589031792noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4409730273713118569.post-72388928733458227662011-10-03T09:56:00.000-05:002011-10-03T09:56:28.001-05:003 months and growing...Today, Simon turned three months old. Just three months ago he came into this world, and just three months ago I fell in love with him. It seems time goes by much quicker after you have a baby. <br />
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I don't know about you, but I thoroughly enjoy lazy Sundays, so today, we did just that. Simon had a visit from his Gigi and Jab - they gave him his first bible. It's an adorable blue precious moments bible with his name engraved. I'm so glad he has his very own bible now - we are going to read a lot from this book!<br />
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Donavon was with us this weekend so he and David took off for an afternoon of wood exploration. This was the perfect time for a long afternoon nap with my sweet boy. I had a video to upload of him talking and cooing but the computer just didn't want to upload it. I'll try posting another video soon.<br />
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Simon looked at himself in the mirror today and smiled - that's a first! I've also noticed how much he's started drooling lately... Happy three months, my favorite little boy - mommy loves you.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><span id="goog_1592363074"></span><span id="goog_1592363075"></span>Brayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12625216967589031792noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4409730273713118569.post-78063158347205296162011-10-01T09:54:00.000-05:002011-10-01T09:54:16.491-05:00Slumber Party<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEgX6n8SpObS6Rq5H_sEZCkifbt0LtCgmor00iUybOieW1sAnv_kgXoYW8FTB1NfW6xZhwf4MJMVNk-300DpvdljSlLFdDWbf0ubl9bt4ntSRJVYYsbplcyySIOIc7aIKAelOZg-76FBA/s1600/IMG_0196.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a>So yesterday afternoon, David packed up and headed to Tallahassee, FL for the evening. Their band had a show at Floyd's. Obviously Simon isn't allowed in bars nor did I want to tackle the 5 hour drive with a 3 month old, so we stayed home. He spent a good portion of his day away from David so I was a bit worried how he would be but for the most part, he was just perfect! He stays home with his daddy everyday and boy have they become buddies!<br />
At 7pm last night Simon was ready for bed, but I knew if he went to sleep that early, he'd wake up even earlier. We played around a bit and by the time 8:30 came around, I just couldn't fight him anymore. I fed him - a whopping 7 ounces - and put him to bed at 9pm. That little monkey slept until 6am, we ate together and by 6:30am, we were back to sleep. 8:20am he was up for the morning....oh how i LOVE my little sleeper! Have I mentioned he'll only sleep in his swing....<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEgX6n8SpObS6Rq5H_sEZCkifbt0LtCgmor00iUybOieW1sAnv_kgXoYW8FTB1NfW6xZhwf4MJMVNk-300DpvdljSlLFdDWbf0ubl9bt4ntSRJVYYsbplcyySIOIc7aIKAelOZg-76FBA/s1600/IMG_0196.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEgX6n8SpObS6Rq5H_sEZCkifbt0LtCgmor00iUybOieW1sAnv_kgXoYW8FTB1NfW6xZhwf4MJMVNk-300DpvdljSlLFdDWbf0ubl9bt4ntSRJVYYsbplcyySIOIc7aIKAelOZg-76FBA/s320/IMG_0196.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>Brayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12625216967589031792noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4409730273713118569.post-42000480393852891742011-09-29T09:03:00.001-05:002011-10-01T10:02:50.866-05:00An attemptIf any of you know me, then you know I'm not a writer. This is my personal attempt to change my outlook on writing so that one day, Simon can enjoy a book of his own personal story.<br />
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I'm starting this a little late, he's already 3 months old (almost) so in my attempt, I'll catch up on things he's already accomplished.<br />
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Simon came into this world on July 2, 2011 via c-section. He was only 11 days early and due to steroid shots I'd had previously, everything was fine, no NICU needed. He was 8lbs, 19 inches of pure perfection! (pics will come later.) We spent a lot of time bonding those first few days and my arms quickly became his favorite spot. By the time we got him home, he'd decided that's where he wanted to sleep the most - and boy did I let him! The weeks flew by and before I knew it, he was six weeks old, eight weeks old, ten weeks old and at eleven weeks, Mommy returned back to work. I must admit those first few days back to work were nice. I'd spent a lot of time with him and needed a bit of a break - don't be afraid to admit you need breaks - but by day four, I was saddened every time I left for work. There is no telling how much I've already missed out on by not being with him everyday and have realized how much I took for granted while I was home with him.<br />
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Enough with the sap, Simon sleeps great at night (with the help of four D batteries and constant motion). We usually put him down around 9pm and he'll sleep at least six or seven hours at a time. We truly have been blessed with a great sleeper at such a young age. I'll get back to you on his sleeping habits once he's no longer moving all night.<br />
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I noticed early on his smiles during sleeping. All the books said it was smiles from using the bathroom or something he was possibly dreaming about. By 7 1/2 weeks, he was smiling, awake, and at 8 weeks, he laughed out loud for the first time in his sleep.<br />
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Very early on he was trying to hold his head up. I believe, in fact, before we left the hospital he was already trying to hold it up himself. He's able to hold it up for the most part now and enjoys tummy time. His favorite talking spot is in his bouncy seat. He stares at the purple hippo and talks and smiles until he's sleepy.<br />
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I'll post pics to go along with this later on. Until we meet again...Brayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12625216967589031792noreply@blogger.com0